last thursday was my folk's 31 years of marriage. 31 long years! well to me it's loads, i've yet to maintain a relationship for 3 whole years! while they have a happy marriage, i am not too sure if i want mine to be as stagnant. good kind of stagnant but well, kinda boring to me. i yearn for a love to take me through a long time, the kind that only others read of, the kind that gives you the extra heartbeat, the kind that he is your best friend, the kind that you give your all and not the kind that we're together after so long because we are so used to each other kind of crap. i like the thrill of the chase. and really, good luck to me.
i wondered to myself how people of our parent's generation do it. they marry their first loves of high school sweethearts or neighbours, have kids and then just wait to carry grandchildren. divorces were so frowned upon and tongues would wag once someone in the family has a failed marriage. seriously, are people from their time that shallow? what's wrong with people falling out of love or realising that they want different things now? did they not realise that shit happens? are people not allowed to make bad or wrong choices? why should people feel a sense of shame and wallow in self pity instead of making the best out of the unchangeable situation? it might be easy for me to say but they also know that i am darn right about it.
noone even raises an eyebrow when one is divorced these days. its like a trend some may say. while i am not a sadist and going all pro on divorces, i respect people who are willing to accept that it's not working out and doing something about it. it will save ALOT of grief. for themselves and their partners and children alike. why should anyone live in denial or have a make believe fairytale of a happy family when clearly it's not the case? why should anyone be denied of a possible VERY HAPPY second or third or fourth marriage? not everyone finds true happiness at one and really, noone really cares because it's your life and not theirs anyway. so chin up please to those who are in anyway directly or indirectly involved, life is really how you make it out to be and you can decide if you want to live it happy or not.
funny how the post diverted to divorces when actually i had wanted to write about marriages and monogamy. haha. i guess that only happens in our parents times - great marriages and monogamy. they are basically - content with a routine lifestyle, only contact with people are their family and workmates, only places they go to are offices and dinner fixes(with their family of cos). they do not attend social events of any kind and if they do, they actually find it a drag, holidays are only with families, they have lost contacts with their so called good friends.
thinking through, i wonder if that was what that made the years of good marriages of our parent's generation? if that was really the case, is it all worth it and are we willing to lead a life like theirs if we want the kind of years that they have with each other? for me now, i really hate to imagine if my life would ever inch that way cos it sounds so utterly boring and obviously very small. i would definitely still love having my friends around, i would still go out to nice places, i would still go on romantic dates with the husband sans kids. who knows, maybe i am wrong, but that's how i want mine to be if i ever do get hitched.
